The Great Purgation

     Greetings, O readers! It's been a very long time since I've posted aught, and I don't promise to post again soon, knowing myself far too well.
     Today, however, I do have something to say; so-- lend me thine ears and let them be fillled with the golden nuggets of wisdom about to pour forth from my mouth. . . or fingers.
     I have had a revelation and have decided to take the plunge and purge my closet of stuff that doesn't fit, stuff that's too worn out, and stuff I haven't worn in a year because I jolly well didn't want to. I have decided to become a smarter shopper.

#1 -- If you don't like it, don't buy it. Unless you have a good reason to be buying something that you are merely contented with, DON'T. "I need it." If you don't like it, do you need it? If you don't like it, will you really wear it? Why?  (Obviously, "because my job requires I wear these hideous non-slip sneakers" is a good reason. I mean, you ought to try to find not-so-hideous non-slip sneakers if you can, but as a waitress, I know that such is not always possible.)

#2 -- If it doesn't fit, don't buy it. Not unless you really are a seamstress and you really will fix the item in such and such a way in a reasonable amount of time. If you like it, but it doesn't fit you, it'll be less comfortable, and you'll loathe wearing it. When you do, you'll be more self-conscious than is pleasant to be.

#3 -- The Monk Method of Shopping. Reference to the TV show. Monk has about a dozen of the same exact suits, shoes, shirts, you name it. He found what he liked, and he bought a bunch so that he wouldn't have to worry about looking for new clothes all over again. I have not really been a fan of this. I've done it with socks, jeans, and underwear, and other such items, but even that can be pushing it. Tastes and styles change. Unless your tastes have been exactly the same for the past ten years, I don't reccommend doing this. And even then.......

#4 -- Limiting yourself to the same stores and styles can also be boring.

#5 -- Along the lines of what I've already said, here's an exercise: what sorts of clothes do you admire on other women? 50's? Traditional Thai? Military? Do you like these ensembles enough to mimick them in your own dress? I'm not saying that a blonde girl should wear an authentic kimono every day, but if you like Japanese clothing that much, there are plenty of Asian-inspired tops and accessories out there. The clothing should reflect the person.

     And there's my rant for today. Forgive any errors in sentence structure or whatever. I know if I aspire to proofread this, I'll never actually publish it.

"Ten Tips for Effortless, Modest Style"

     Ladies and ladies, we interrupt this shape broadcast to respond to your feedback. My friend Golethiril has graciously written up a list of some extremely helpful tricks of the trade.

Ten Tips for Effortless, Modest Style

1)      Buy a camisole. In fact, buy one in every standard color (white, cream, black, brown, etc.). The best ones have lace edging (on the top is preferable to the bottom, as few people can pull off the eye being attracted to hips; That is to say: Pears? You don't want lace edging on the bottom.). Wear one under everything – you’ll be glad you did.

2)      Do a bit of research. Figure out your body type, your skin type, and your face shape. Read a good style book like InStyle’s Secrets of Style and find what kinds of clothing most flatter your body type.  Only buy clothing that makes you look stunning. J

3)      Invest in quality clothing. One thing that looks really good on you and you’ll wear frequently is less expensive in the long run than six or seven cheap tops that will fall apart and don’t even flatter you.

4)      Know the dressing room test and NEVER buy anything without subjecting it to testing!

a.       A corollary to this is to know how big one inch actually is. On most people, the first link of your pointer finger is just under one inch.  This dressing room test will be coming in another post.

5)      Buy slips that reach to just above your knees. This way a) you can move in them, and b) if your slip shows beneath the skirt, you know it’s too short. And please, girls, do wear one. Not only are they helpful when it's windy, but they create a smoother look, hide panty-lines, and hide the outline of your legs (when the skirt is a light color or fabric weight and you are stanging in front in the sun).

6)      Never, EVER buy something just for the size. No one can tell what size an article of clothing is when it’s on you – but they CAN tell if it doesn’t fit. (A fashion industry tip – every clothing manufacturer sizes their clothing slightly differently [this is known as “vanity sizing” for a reason], so sizes are completely relative anyways.)

7)      When trying on pants, shorts, or capris, always look in a three-way mirror. If you can see panty lines or a distinct outline of your derrière without even bending over, they’re too small. (If you can when bending over, it’s a bit more subjective.)

8)      Be very careful when buying anything sleeveless. Modern fashions don’t take into account that very unflattering part of skin that sits between your chest and your underarm, and usually leave it exposed. The eye is automatically drawn to it precisely because it is so unflattering. This makes your arms look flabby and generally makes you look uncomfortable in your own clothing, even if you aren’t. If you want a tank top or a sleeveless top, make sure the straps go all the way to the edge of your shoulders and are wide enough to cover that patch of skin. Also be very careful about the size of the straps and the size of the armholes. Thin and spaghetti straps make it look like you are wearing not a shirt, but underwear. Look in the mirror and move your arms in every direction. Many armholes expose one's bra. Make sure that this is not the case before you buy a given sleeveless top or dress. (But don't let them be too tight, either.) And remember that bra straps need to be hidden at all times. A strapless bra will make this easier for you if you wear sleeveless.

9)      Accessorize! Accessories are a brilliant way to bring eyes away from problem areas towards the best part of you - your face! They are also an inexpensive way to add color to your wardrobe as you build it up from the basics. Just don’t get carried away – follow standard fashion rules and you can’t go wrong.

10)   Finally, never buy any shoe with more than a 3 inch heel. There are several reasons for this. First, they are very uncomfortable and very dangerous to walk in. Secondly, anything that tall puts a distinctive “sexy” swagger in your walk, which puts attention on your derrière. Thirdly, you can’t wear them with as many outfits because they simply aren’t practical and are completely inappropriate in most circumstances (i.e. showers, weddings, religious services, work situations, around children, the list goes on….) I think-- but can't say for sure, as I do not wear extremely high heels-- that this is a bit different for girls of different heights and shoe sizes. What is a high heel for a size 5 foot may not be very high for a size 10 foot, even if they are the same height in inches. This rule is still an excellent one to follow. Not only do shoes with very high heels change your walk, but they can also look provocative even if you are just standing. If you are not sure about a given shoe, walk the way you normally do, and have a friend or sister watch from the back to make sure your walk is not made provocative by the shoes. If you have to make a conscious effort to walk modestly in the shoe, don't buy it. Just don't. It's not worth it. Also, I agree that very high heels are not appropriate for church. I shall have to delve into shoes more in the future...

Staples-- Last ones

     The very last bit of my list of must-haves:

9. Mineral Foundation Powder. If you're only going to own one makeup product, that
         product has to be powder. It is not as heavy as foundation (a plus all year round,
         but especially in the summer), easier to put on, and better for your skin. Mineral
         foundation also provides better coverage than regular powder.
10. Mascara. For the top lashes, I'd suggest black. Just be sure not to wear too much,
         or you'll have "raccoon eyes," which are not exactly flattering. Properly done
         mascara will bring attention up to one's eyes, which are naturally the best part of
         the body and the part that you want people to focus on. It is also helpful if your
         eyelashes are naturally light or short, as it makes them look longer, fuller, and--
         of course-- darker.

     And.... That's the end of the list! The next few posts will be about dressing for your
body type, or modesty guidelines, so check back for some very useful dressing tips.

Staples-R-Us, Part 2

     Back to the list of stuff that I command you--- er, advise you--- to own.

5. Belts. Everybody needs at least one. They don't just hold pants up. They can be used to
             complete an outfit, whether by being worn with a shirt that is tucked in, or on top
             of a dress or long shirt. Naturally, the best for versatility are black and brown
             leather belts. As to the thickness, that depends upon you. Long-waisted people
             need thicker belts than those with short waists. It just looks better that way.

6. Purses.

          A. Dark neutral (preferably black)

          B. Light neutral (such as beige; white is more likely to get soiled)

7. Jewelry

          A. Earrings

                      1. Plain gold studs/hoops

                      2. Plain silver studs/hoops

                      3. Rather plain pearl earrings, either tear-drop or studs

          B. Watch. Be it leather, silver, or gold, a good watch is always important to have.

          C. Necklaces

                      1. Fairly simple gold

                      2. Fairly simple silver

                      3. Pearl, the length of which is up to you, but I find that it is more useful
                          to have only a shorter one than to have only a longer one.

         D. Bracelets. Some people are really into bracelets, but I am not. This is partly
              because I find that they are hard to put on, get in your way, and don't
              work terribly well with long sleeves. If you like to wear bracelets often,
              then I suggest following what I wrote for necklaces. Bangles work very
              well if they are properly made, thin, and simple. Gold and silver
             bangles are sure to compliment dozens of outfits, whether worn singly or five
             at a time.

8. Hair stuff

         A. Assorted hairpins. These are indispensible for medium and long hair. They
              can be used for so many things. Just make sure to get the kind that have
              rounded edges, and that match your hair color pretty well.

        B. Barrettes. You are never too old for them.

        C. Hairties. I find that the ones that have no metal-- and thus claim to be snag
             -free-- stretch out VERY easily. At least the thin ones do.

        D. Headbands. There are many different kinds of headbands, from the basic
             type, to the kind that have strips of fabric on the end so you can tie them
            and then drape the ends over your shoulder. If you have bangs, you
            probably want to wear them in front of the headband, and not back with
            the rest of your hair. (Unless, of course, you are wearing a headband
            precisely for the purpose of keeping those bangs out of the way.)

Notes on the First of the Staples

Dear Readers,

     I have received feedback, and I thought I'd share some of it with you, as well as go more into depth about that which I have listed so far.

     Skirts. Each of the staple skirts should be of a medium weight and medium-long length (below the knee, but above the ankle). That way, they are wearable all year round.
     Jeans. Darker jeans-- but not black-- are usually the best, because they can be dressed up far more easily than can light jeans.
     Tops. Tank tops are vital. They can often be used to solve the aptly-named "too low" and "too transparent" problems that so many tops and dresses out there have. A white tank is best for most clothes, but some blouses may require a black tank.
     As to colors, one needs to be sure-- even with skirts, I hear-- that not to buy something that is the wrong color for her. A good friend of mine said, "not every girl can wear tan/khaki. For those with honey colored skin (like me) it completely washes you out unless it's exactly the right shade."
     And speaking of colors, brown, olive green, and navy blue are other classics that go with a wide variety of colors.
     One more comment I received was this: "The use of neutral colours allows your brighter articles to pop and stand out more."
     I was also asked to talk about different cuts, but fit and color of clothes is a topic for another post. :-)

Staples-R-Us, Part 1

     Today we are dealing with staples: things every girl should have.
     As far as clothes go, every girl needs to have multitaskers, pieces that go with just about everything. Here's a list; notice the pattern...

     1. Skirts
                 A. Denim
                 B. Khaki
                 C. Black
     2. Pants
               A. Jeans
               B. Khaki
               C. Black dress pants
    3. Tops
               A. White blouse
               B. Coat (NOT a snow jacket, an actual coat)
               C. Black, white, beige, or grey layering sweater or cardigan
    4. Shoes
               A. Black dress shoes
               B. Sneakers
               C. White, off-white, or beige dress sandals or shoes
               D. Brown or tan semi-dressy sandals

     As you can see, there is a good deal of black, white, and tan. These three colors are almost guaranteed to go with anything you wear, thus giving you more outfit options for less money. (And that's always a good thing. :-) )  All these items are essential for the average modern lady. Having these creates a base for a great and versatile wardrobe.